In 2017, those numbers dropped to 42% and 44% respectively. In 1988, 51% of female-identifying and 60% of male-identifying teens reported having had sex. According to the CDC, teens and young adults are waiting longer on average. With these parameters in mind, flawed as they are, some of the data around first time sex is perhaps encouraging. Assigned-male-at-birth (AMAB) people who don't identify as men may have similar experiences. So when the term "men" is used here, it's in reference to cisgender men. But the concept of "virginity" is really based in the gender-binary and the experience of heterosexual, penis-in-vagina sex (PIV). It's important to note that not everyone who has a penis is a man - and not all men have penises. Some men don’t feel ready, but feel pressure that virginity is burden you ‘must lose.’" "And the truth is, not all men are, especially when it comes to losing your virginity. "There’s this message that you should be ready, willing, able, and wanting," Dr. Britney Blair, PsyD, CBSM, AASECT, a psychologist and founder of the sexual wellness app Lover, says that men actually have a "rough time" when it comes to cultural expectations around losing their virginity. On the other hand, men are often high-fived and considered to have "scored."ĭr. And, of course, the patriarchy claims that women become damaged goods once it happens. What is the first time like for guys? Our cultural understanding of "the first time" is extremely gendered and heteronormative women's first sexual experiences are often thought to hurt, and to create a lifelong obsession and attachment with the person with whom they "lose" their virginity. Having sex for the first time can be an awkward, intimidating, and overwhelming experience - but hopefully a positive one, too.